性行为的基本类型
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2.
异性性交:
生殖器性交
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性交合
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正在性交合的夫妇
公元1世纪中国东汉时期的饰纹砖。
蒙中国古代性文化博物馆的惠允(江苏吴江市同里镇)
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Couple engaging in coitus. Sculptured brick, Eastern Han Dynasty, 1st century A.D.,
Courtesy China Sex Museum, Tongli |
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性交合的技巧
5
在一些陈旧的婚姻指南里,不仅鼓励夫妻只为性高潮而奋斗,而且鼓励他们同时达到性高潮。作为一种奖励,保证他们能够得到彻底的狂喜体验。但是,实际上,这种建议所产生的效果弊大于利,而且要推定为什么是这样的结果则非常容易。首先,它不仅强调性行为的过程,而且强调性行为的结果。第二,它迫使性伴双方采取一种工于心计的态度,即断定他们(在性交合中)会一直处于支配地位的态度。于是,这样的态度常常从根本上妨碍了他们获得任何的性高潮。最后,这样的建议会使那些未能让他们的性反应同步的男女感到失落。
让人感到幸运的是,这种对性交合的机械主义的处事方法已经不再时兴了。与此同时,大多数“性学专家们”已经变得更加地务实,并因而认识到:同步性高潮并不是完美性关系的验证标准。事实上,现在有越来越多的人领会到,完全不要再担忧性高潮才是明智之举。与之不同的是,性爱双方出于对亲昵行为本身的兴趣,要学会尽情享受亲昵行为的每一时刻,不要试图完成或证明什么特别的东西。令人感到自相矛盾的是,事实证明提供这种最大性满足的,恰恰是这种不苛求的、从容不迫的做爱游戏。这样的做爱游戏常常有助于消除长久以来被抑制的性反应,并因而增强一个人的性能力。自然而然地,它同样会带来更多的性高潮(欲知详情,请参见“性功能障碍及其治疗”)。 |
Basic Types of Sexual Behavior |
2. Heterosexual Intercourse: Genital Intercourse |
Coitus |
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Couple engaging in coitus. Sculptured brick, Eastern Han Dynasty, 1st century A.D.,
Courtesy China Sex Museum, Tongli
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Techniques of Coitus 5 In some older marital guides, couples were urged not only to strive for orgasm, but also to reach their orgasms simultaneously. As a reward, they were promised an experience of total ecstasy. In actual fact, however, this advice did more harm than good, and it is easy to understand why. First of all, it put the emphasis not on the sexual process, but on its result. Secondly, it forced both partners to adopt a calculating attitude that would allow them to remain in control at all times. Such an attitude then often prevented them from having any orgasm at all. Finally, those men and women who failed to synchronize their responses were made to feel inadequate. It is fortunate that this mechanistic approach to coitus has gone out of fashion. In the meantime, most "sex experts" have become more realistic and therefore regognize:
Simultaneous orgasms are no proof of a perfect relationship.
As a matter of fact, there is now a growing realization that it is better to stop worrying about orgasms altogether. Instead, couples learn to savor every moment of intimacy for its own sake without trying to achieve or prove anything in particular. Paradoxically, it has turned out that it is this nondemanding, leisurely loveplay that provides the deepest satisfaction. It often helps to unblock long inhibited sexual responses and thus increases a person's erotic capacities. Naturally, it also leads to more orgasms (for details, see "Sexual Dysfunctions and their Treatment"). |